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It can feel uncomfortable and extremely unkind to take a retrospective glance at the parenting practices of a mother grieving her daughter’s early death.

“You can look at how she was taught how to manage her uncomfortable emotions,” Hokemeyer says.

(I was born in working-class rustbelt territory and grew up in suburban Pittsburgh—generic American Strip-Mall Land.) While in Quintana died at 39 of acute pancreatitis. Here is an astonishing passage in which the narrator of uses a ten-foot pole to circle around the issue of her daughter's addiction without touching it: "She was depressed. Because she was depressed and because she was anxious she drank too much. Alcohol has its own well-known defects as a medication for depression but no one has ever suggested—ask any doctor—that it is not the most effective anti-anxiety agent yet known." I had to read these sentences perhaps three times before I understood that, in them, the author of (books I’ve read so many times I can recite many sentences by heart) was making some serious errors in her analysis.So, to answer Hokemeyer’s question: Yes, Quintana’s father, John Gregory Dunne, did manage stress through alcohol.Right up to the very end of his life, in fact: on his final evening, after coming home from an extraordinarily stressful visit to the hospital where Quintana lay in critical condition, her father asked for a second Scotch before he had finished his first, then, as he drank, he suffered a massive coronary event that killed him. It unfortunately has the ability to distort the thinking of even our most beloved intellectuals and artists and, ultimately, to hide the full truth of their stories.“The stigma of addiction is worse than the stigma of mental illness.People with addiction quite often won’t admit they’re addicted,” says Marvin D. D., chief medical officer of Hazelden in Center City, Minn.

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